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The Flat Peen Adventure Continues...

8/19/2017

Check out Flat Peen's trip to Canada.
Where will he turn up next?

Thank you so much to C.P. for being such a gracious hostess to my flat little friend!
He had a balls.... I mean ball!

Have you heard?

8/11/2017

The Two-Night One-Night Stand
is now available through Audible and Amazon.

Audible.com

Amazon.com

Special thanks to
Tor Thom and Charley Ongel
for their fabulous narration!

"5 Funny Two-Night One-Night Stars!!"
This audiobook was amazing and just what I needed to get out of my audiobook funk. I wasn’t really sure what I was getting into but I am so glad a requested this book. It sucked me in right from the beginning and didn’t let go until the very end. I’ve haven’t literally laughed out loud so much from an audiobook in a long time. I mean who wouldn’t when a talking peen is involved. ~ Kimmy

"Hilarious!"
I absolutely loved this book! It was hysterically funny, sweet and sexy! I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes several times. The narration was fantastic too. This is the perfect book for anyone looking for a light, funny story that will leave you will a smile on your face. ~ Mandy

"Laugh out loud funny!!!!"
Peen monologues..... how can you go wrong with peen monologues!! ~ Dhawk

"A Great Story Ruined by "Peen" 🙄
This is a very clever, funny and romantic book. I believe it would be equally good or better without the constant jabbering of the male character 'peen'. ~ DK

Introducing the adventures of FLAT PEEN!

7/23/2017

Where will he turn up next???

Did this amuse you?
If the answer is yes, please come join my new
Facebook group -
RYAN DOES FACEBOOK.
where there is always something fun and weird going on, including some crazy giveaways.
(Adults only please.)
And who knows, Flat Peen may be visiting you next.

10 random questions....

6/9/2017

1. Zodiac Sign: Sagitarrius

2. How many tattoos do you have? I love them. But have none.

3. Top of your bucket list? I want to adopt a pregnant cat and be there when it gives birth and raise the little cat family. I talk about this a lot lately. LOL.

4. Do you have any secrets? Many.

5. Are you a messy or clean person? Clean. I'm a neat freak. Organization forever!

6. What is your guilty pleasure? I have so many. My weirdest is probably when I'm bored, I like to type in random shit on Pornhub and see if there is porn with that theme. I have yet to NOT find something related to the crazy shit I search. My husband hates that I admit that I do this. That only makes me like doing it more. But seriously - Type anything. I typed Walmart and something came up. LMAO!

7. What is your dream job? I want to work on RuPaul's Drag Race. Any job. I would sweep, clean make-up brushes, mic check. Anything.

8. Can you cook? Yes! I am a good cook. I love to cook.

9. Who is the last person you kissed? My son. He got a buzz cut and I love to kiss his head. It reminds me of his baby hair when his hair is like this.

10. Five ways to win your heart?
1. You have to think I'm funny and laugh at my sick sense of humor.
2. You have to "get" me...(and you either do or you totally don't.)
3. Food. Eating it and talking about it.
4. Flowers. Any kind.
5. Support my dreams without making me ask.

Every once in a while I like to answer random questions.
If you have a question, you can send it to: Ryanringbloom@gmail.com

Binge Read!

5/23/2017

Now you can read two books in one night!
The Two-Night One-Night Stand
and
The Two-Night One-Night Wedding
are both available!
Only .99 each
or
FREE with Kindle Unlimited.

The Two-Night One-Night Stand

The Two-Night One-Night Wedding

It's almost here...

4/24/2017

The Two-Night One-Night Wedding

A girl. A guy. And a wedding.

Matthew Daniels and Holly Martin had a one-night stand, twice, and love prevailed. Once Matthew proposes, the hard part is over. The rest is a piece of wedding cake. There’s nothing to stress over now.

However, budgets, a bitter best friend, enormous amounts of family time, and an unexpected change of address may say otherwise.

Thank God for Fireball.

Matthew is super weird and accident prone; add extreme to that mix and you’ve got Holly. These two over the top, adorkable weirdos are destined for each other, a perfect match.

But does everyone see it that way?

The true test to knowing whether you’re ready to take the plunge is surviving the engagement.

Will Holly and Matthew survive? Or will awkward cold feet have them running in opposite directions?

5-22-17

Which RR book to read next?

3/14/2017

The Two-Night One-Night Stand
is the most popular book of the bunch. It's silly, it's fun and it makes people laugh.

Books, Blogs, & Reality
was the most fun to write. Lizzie's story is touching and I think - relatable to many.

Hooker Heels
is my favorite. Of course, I love them all...but this one is my favorite. Flawed girl meets heart of gold billionaire....aww, love!

#LoveWarrior #StJude #Powerclick

3/6/2017

*•♥ BE A WARRIOR FOR A GREAT CAUSE! ♥•*
Help the fight to kick childhood cancer in the butt! #1-click to preorder your copy of Drunk In Love featuring twenty trendsetting romance authors releasing March 13th and only .99 pennies! A collection of twenty romantic short stories for charity with 100% digital proceeds being donated to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Be a #lovewarrior and grab your copy today!

Amazon ~ http://amzn.to/2mTBYHt
Barnes & Noble ~ http://bit.ly/2jqMRyn
iBooks ~ http://apple.co/2klLkKc
Kobo ~ http://bit.ly/2jjVHAq

Would you like to win a $25 Amazon Gift Card? Enter this special rafflecopter now and show your support!
http://bit.ly/2ltmYTL

Will Peen Return? Spoiler Alert!

2/27/2017

The Two-Night One-Night Wedding is done and now it is time to revise, revise, revise and revise! I have 5 full weeks before it goes off to the editor. I plan to obsess the entire month of March and hopefully grab a few betas for some feedback.

I am so excited to share this story and for those of you who took the time to visit my site, I'll let you in on a spoiler....
PEEN RETURNS!

It's a quick visit but he does make an appearance. And to those of you who read The Two-Night One-Night Stand, you may have noticed that I like to do individual pictures for my chapter headings. Well, for one of the images in TNONW, I needed something very specific. In one of the most mortifying messages I have ever composed, I reached out to an artist for a graphic. The message went like this:

Hi, I know this may sound strange but are you able to make me a graphic of a penis wearing a suit similar to the one worn by Beetlejuice in the movie, Beetlejuice?

Yeah...embarrassing as all hell but GOOD NEWS - he was able to do it. Check out below for a sneak peek of one of the chapter titles. Heehee!! Release date is set for June 1st, 2017. But with me you never know...
it could very well come out a little earlier.

Add to Goodreads

Winter Beach Run

2/20/2017

Ya know those promises you make in December for a brand new you in a brand new year? Well, mid-December I decided I was going to start signing up for local races to participate in.

Me and one of the other Lacrosse Mama's had been walking the track while our boys practiced and I was like we should start racing. (Not that we had ever run one step.) And she said okay. So, I found a beach run close by scheduled for February and we signed up. It was perfect - Part of my New Year's resolution was going to be to start training to run.

Yeah...that did not happen.

I walked more often but never actually trained to run. But that didn't stop us. We started the race running then walked, ran, walked, talked, walked and then ran the final stretch. We did good!! Under 30 minutes. I'll take it!!

It was a beautiful day with AMAZING weather and the beach was gorgeous!!

I can't wait for the next race!!

<<Previous

Check out Flat Peen's trip to Canada.Where will he turn up next?

Where will he turn up next???

Every once in a while I like to answer random questions.If you have a question, you can send it to: Ryanringbloom@gmail.com

5-22-17

CONNECT WITH ME

Check out Flat Peen's trip to Canada.
Where will he turn up next?

Every once in a while I like to answer random questions.
If you have a question, you can send it to: Ryanringbloom@gmail.com