My name is Rebecca, I go by the name Ryan Ringbloom in book world. Mostly because I write inappropriate books and don't want my son to be embarrassed as he gets older with his mom's name on books like Whiskey Dick.

I'm 42.

I'm a homemaker. Sometimes I feel guilty about that. But that's bullshit. I think the only reason I feel guilty is when someone says something that makes me feel that way. I  love what I do. No guilt. This is who I am. I like to keep my house clean, cook dinner, run errands, pay the bills, read, watch TV, go on Walmart runs, walk, LIKE shit on Instagram, write fun stories and snack. 

I stress about my weight all the time. Obsessively. I am either losing or gaining and unfortunately there is no in between for me. I am a binge eater. It sucks. And its something that is very hard to find the right help for. I went to an addiction doctor a few years ago who recommended I masterbate every time I felt hungry. I was like seriously? Well - This could get awkward cause I feel hungry right now. 

My husband is probably the most caring person you'll ever meet. He is so loving, kind and generous. Sometimes I take that for granted. But I'm good too and he also takes it for granted. That's marriage. We've been married 15 years. It can get boring but every once in a while we still manage to surprise each other. Magic in small doses. I'll take it! 

Whiskey. I never liked it until a few years ago. I blame our friend Fred for forcing me to try Fireball. That warm, fiery, temporary problem solving liquid. It was love at first sip. BTW - Chapter 7 of Whiskey Chick is a toned down version of me after a night of whiskey. 

Family. Ugh. Yuck. Blah.  The villain plays the victim so well. Enough said. 

I LOVE cats. I really do. Although, one of mine is literally licking their butthole right next to me as I type this and it's grossing me out. I just shooed her away.

I wish I was a drag queen. They are EVERYTHING. Maybe in my next life. 

Wait. She's already back and being adorable this time. I forgive her. Cats are awesome. 

Now that I'm in my 40's I know I should probably do Kegel exercises regularly. But I forget and when I do remember, I do like 2 and then get distracted and stop, forgetting all about it. 

Writing world has its ups and downs with me. I love writing but the world surrounding it is tough. I wish reviews didn't have a number attached to them. The review should be enough. My interpretation of a 3 and yours could be very different. And a 1 is a knife in the heart. Ask any writer. 

I am someone who can go see a movie by myself. 

Coffee. I could drink it all fucking day. Sometimes I do. 

I HATE my birthday. I'm usually cranky and cry on that day. 

After The Two-Night One-Night Stand and now Whiskey Dick, I'm kind of associated with peen humor. I am tagged in penis posts all the time. Clearly, I love it. *see picture attached to this post.

I have a lot of houseplants. Well, like 4. But they are all very old and still beautiful. I don't have much a green thumb outside but I do inside. 

I love when the carpet has fresh vacuum lines. I wish there was a way to keep it like that longer without ballerina hopping through the house after vacuuming.  

Okay - I gotta go. I'm hungry. So either I'm gonna go have a snack or you know.... 

hahahaha....

10 questions with the FUCers!!!
​(Fun Under the Covers Book Blog) 

1. Do you make your bed everyday?
Carol  I sleep on the sofa with the dog.
Charlene Without a doubt...YES.  I can’t sleep in an unmade bed.  If for some bizarre reason it wasn’t made in the morning, I will even make it 10 minutes before going to bed!
Tara Hell no. That takes too long. 
Sisi No, never. Only make it when I have an excuse to.

2. What is the ugliest thing you own?
Carol  My body but at least it's paid for.
Charlene A big picture...instead of on the wall, it’s under the bed.  Thanks for the reminder, I really need to get rid of it!
​Tara My silky thing (Its the only part left of my baby blanket that I sleep with every night) 
Sisi A doll I've had for 17 years.

3. Do you prefer hot chocolate plain, with marshmallows or whip cream?
Carol  Just give me the can of whip cream, I drink tea.
Charlene I prefer my hot chocolate with alcohol.
​Tara Marshmallows. Preferably big fat ones.
Sisi  Marshmallows AND whip cream.

4. Give me an example where you think less is more. 
Carol Selfies - not a fan
Charlene Features on electronics, because the more complicated they are, the less I want to use them.  And this is because I’m old!
​Tara I'm claustrophobic so inside my home, less is always more. I dont like excess decor and stuff because I like my home to feel open and airy, so I'm a total minimalist inside my home.
Sisi When it comes to friends and loved ones.

5. Would prefer to have a view of mountains, woods, or ocean from your bedroom window?
Carol Any view is better than looking out the cell at work. I am flexible & love any vacation view.
Charlene I am supposed to live by the OCEAN dammit...why is this not happening?!  
​Tara Duh...ocean
Sisi Mountains. Nature is pretty until you get out in it.

6. Sneakers, high heels or flip-flops?
Carol Jersey Girls wear flip flops in the snow!
Charlene You didn’t give me the option of boots...it’s what I wear for 6 to 7 months a year because I live where there’s waaay too much winter.
​Tara Flip flops
Sisi Sneakers. The only comfortable choice. 

7. If you had to chug a 2 liter of any beverage, what would it be?
Carol  Coke Zero - just give me one of those machines and I will drink it straight from the spout.
Charlene Well, I’d like to say wine, but chugging is not what you do with wine, it’s meant to be enjoyed slowly.  I chugged a lot of beer back in the day, been there, done that, not going back.  So my answer is water.  Btw, you spelled “litre” wrong.
​Tara Wine!!
Sisi Pink Drinks from Starbucks.

8. What is your favorite way to eat a potato? 
Carol Cooked please, too crunchy raw.
Charlene As fries in a poutine (everyone knows what that is, right?!). 
​Tara Fried, baked, mashed, boiled, roasted. It's potatoes. You really can't go wrong. 
Sisi Fried. Duh.

9. If someone has something in their teeth, do you tell them?
Carol Oh yes, but very discreetly
Charlene Depends who it is and if they’ve pissed me off recently.
​Tara Oh hell yeah. I'd want someone to tell me. 
Sisi More than likely. I'd want them to do the same for me. Some people can suffer though.

10. Can you put makeup on with your mouth closed? 
Carol  Don't wear make up - a bag works better.
Charlene There’s not a lot involved in my makeup routine, so no fancy techniques that require an open mouth!
​Tara Sure *walks away whistling*
Sisi It is physically impossible to apply makeup with your mouth shut.

***Want to be my next blog, author, or reader to post a random Q&A? 
Email me  - I love this shit!! Ryanringbloom@gmail.com

These characters seem so immature for 30. 
I'm 42. You should see how immature I am. 

Bleh. Instalove stories. 
What's wrong with instalove? In a world full of crap, isn't some fun, happy instalove a good distraction?

This book was too short. 
The Whiskey books are all meant to be fast, fun and situational. Books you want to tuck away and read again when you need a laugh.

Who will the next story be about?
 Remi Kay

Then who? 
Henry. You'll meet him soon. 

I finished the book, should I write a review? 
Yes. Please. Thank you.

Where? 
Anywhere. Everywhere. 

If I don't like the book, will my honest review hurt Ryan's feelings? 
Yes. I will piss and moan all night and tell myself I suck. My husband will beg me to stop writing or at least take a break. Then I will get pissy with him. 

So, do I still write it? 
Yes. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. Plus, ya know, I have booze. 

I want to send Ryan an email. 
​Please do. Chances are I'm sitting around reading, writing, watching tv, procrastinating about what to do next or playing on my phone. Ryanringbloom@gmail.com

1. If you had a pet Unicorn, what would you name it?
Hubs: This is stupid. 
Son: Uni
Robin: Twilight Sparkilicious

2. Do you think you're funny?
Hubs: Yes
Son: Yeah
Robin: Heck yeah, I make myself laugh all the time. 

3. Do you wet your toothbrush before or after adding the toothpaste?
Hubs: After
Son: After
Robin: Before. Of course I do it before, I'm not a heathen. 

4. Have you ever peed in a pool?
Hubs: Yes
Son: No. And why would I? 
Robin: I'm gonna say yes and don't judge me. 

5. Quick. Name 3 random things. 
Hubs: TV, SEX, PANTRY
Son: CAT,BAT,SAT
Robin: FAN, AIR, CLOUDS

6. Do you ever get mad at me (Ryan)?
Hubs: Yes. 
Son: No. Sometimes. 
Robin: No but I bet your hub's answer is different. 

7. Have you ever called your muscles "guns"?
Hubs: Yes.
Son: No.
Robin: Never. I have really puny muscles, more like slingshots. 

8. What is your favorite utensil?
Hubs: Spatula
Son: Spork
Robin: Baby spoon. They're so itty bitty and cute. 

9. What one food could you absolutely not live without?
Hubs: Red Meat
Son: Pizza
Robin: Chicken

10. How long would you last in a Zombie Apocalypse?
Hubs: Indefinitely.
Son: Forever cause I'd have you and Dad with me. 
Robin: In a group, a really long time but we'd probably be savage. By myself, six months.