Steal one of these images below and post on Instagram or Facebook with the
hashtag- #whiskeydick
Make sure to tag me (@ryanringbloom)!!!
One winner will be chosen at random on December 25th to win a signed paperback of
Whiskey Dick & Whiskey Chick.
​
*This is a Ryan Ringbloom Paperback Giveaway. (18+ only please) 
​**The Whiskey Dick Cherry Whiskey is not included nor associated with me, this book, this giveaway...NOTHING! But it is a fantastic whiskey worth checking out!! 
http://www.dumbasswhiskey.com

For the first time ever we bought a real tree.
Also, for the first time ever I decided to use tinsel.
So what? 
Well...I have 3 cats is what.
Actually, I have 2 cats and a new kitten.
What the hell was I thinking?
They are all magnets to this thing. 
​The ornaments have officially all become cat toys. 
Two of them will now only drink water if it's from the tree stand. 
But the most fun...
This morning I had to gently pull a strand of tinsel from my kittens mouth.
Oh God. It was not pretty.
She had swallowed most of it by then so - yuck.
She gagged. I gagged. 
And now I am de-tinseling my tree. 
It's the most wonderful time of the year.... 
*eye-roll 

My name is Rebecca, I go by the name Ryan Ringbloom in book world. Mostly because I write inappropriate books and don't want my son to be embarrassed as he gets older with his mom's name on books like Whiskey Dick.

I'm 42.

I'm a homemaker. Sometimes I feel guilty about that. But that's bullshit. I think the only reason I feel guilty is when someone says something that makes me feel that way. I  love what I do. No guilt. This is who I am. I like to keep my house clean, cook dinner, run errands, pay the bills, read, watch TV, go on Walmart runs, walk, LIKE shit on Instagram, write fun stories and snack. 

I stress about my weight all the time. Obsessively. I am either losing or gaining and unfortunately there is no in between for me. I am a binge eater. It sucks. And its something that is very hard to find the right help for. I went to an addiction doctor a few years ago who recommended I masturbate every time I felt hungry. I was like seriously? Well - This could get awkward cause I feel hungry right now. 

My husband is probably the most caring person you'll ever meet. He is so loving, kind and generous. Sometimes I take that for granted. But I'm good too and he also takes it for granted. That's marriage. We've been married 15 years. It can get boring but every once in a while we still manage to surprise each other. Magic in small doses. I'll take it! 

Whiskey. I never liked it until a few years ago. I blame our friend Fred for forcing me to try Fireball. That warm, fiery, temporary problem solving liquid. It was love at first sip. BTW - Chapter 7 of Whiskey Chick is a toned down version of me after a night of whiskey. 

Family. Ugh. Yuck. Blah.  The villain plays the victim so well. Enough said. 

I LOVE cats. I really do. Although, one of mine is literally licking their butthole right next to me as I type this and it's grossing me out. I just shooed her away.

I wish I was a drag queen. They are EVERYTHING. Maybe in my next life. 

Wait. She's already back and being adorable this time. I forgive her. Cats are awesome. 

Now that I'm in my 40's I know I should probably do Kegel exercises regularly. But I forget and when I do remember, I do like 2 and then get distracted and stop, forgetting all about it. 

Writing world has its ups and downs with me. I love writing but the world surrounding it is tough. I wish reviews didn't have a number attached to them. The review should be enough. My interpretation of a 3 and yours could be very different. And a 1 is a knife in the heart. Ask any writer. 

I am someone who can go see a movie by myself. 

Coffee. I could drink it all fucking day. Sometimes I do. 

I HATE my birthday. I'm usually cranky and cry on that day. 

After The Two-Night One-Night Stand and now Whiskey Dick, I'm kind of associated with peen humor. I am tagged in penis posts all the time. Clearly, I love it. *see picture attached to this post.

I have a lot of houseplants. Well, like 4. But they are all very old and still beautiful. I don't have much a green thumb outside but I do inside. 

I love when the carpet has fresh vacuum lines. I wish there was a way to keep it like that longer without ballerina hopping through the house after vacuuming.  

Okay - I gotta go. I'm hungry. So either I'm gonna go have a snack or you know.... 

hahahaha....